As a young child, like most children are, I had a tendency to be arrogant, boastful, selfish and ego centric. I don't guess in this respect I was really any different than my peers however, it was only when I became more self aware, more able to analyze myself in a more retrospective fashion that I was able to see these traits and decide to do something about them. In my opinion, all of these traits are the least desirable of my personality and as such, I made a decision to negate their influence in my life as much as possible. For those of you who know me well, you know that in many aspects, my decision was made for me and my steering of my personality was subject in a great measure by my circumstances of which, were beyond my control. None the less, as with all of us, life takes its role as the developer of the strong and the destroyer of the weak and I found myself rising to the occasion, molding myself through my mentors, my peers, my family and my faith. I remember the day however, can't remember the exact date but can recall the location, and circumstances when I decided that a humble life, a life in which I stand before my belief system naked, prepared to be constantly judged, was a life I would pursue. You see, for me, such a life, where I am transparent and those who know me, or do business with me will not be filtered from my free thought and likewise, they could be honest and forth right with me, was a life where my associations would be my judgment and others could make a truthful decision on as to my intentions......this was a life of constant humility.
In this business, I have learned a all encompassing truth and that is, humility will serve you well. In fact, humility has been the catapult in which my career has stood and through humility, I hope to see career heights that I have only dreamed of. In this way, my life and decision has been a constant state of irony. This has caused in me a struggle....a battle between wills. In one aspect, my ego rises and I look at the trappings of success and my brains tells me that I deserve these rewards, I have worked hard for these rewards, I should take these rewards. Yes, maybe these thoughts are true, maybe in these moments of conflict I find the honesty of my nature however, it's not the life I decided to pursue so long ago. Life in this way can be cruel however, as I have learned, it's in the cruelty of life that we are a truly remarkable people....it's the cruelty of life where we find ourselves triumphant and victorious and it's the irony of life that we find, without such conflict, without such hardship, we would never know the glory of our abilities, when they are set to stand eye to eye with transgression.
Now, more specifically to the issue at hand. Here recently I was contacted by a man who felt I had participated in a wrong against him. He felt as if a promise was made and not fulfilled. In this, he was enraged, angry, bitter, and filled with vitriol that overflowed from his email and made my nose curl in disgust and had my eyes squint with disdain. You see, my role in this perceived wrong was limited and actually could be logically argued that I had no role for I had no authority in the matter yet, blinded by his own paradigm, he was unable to coherently understand any intelligent argument as to such. Ultimately, those he accused with such fervor rallied the troops, circled the wagons and battle lines were drawn. Granted, the situation hasn't played out to completion however, my experience with this man has been as Epic as Odyssey and just as incomplete so, I expect that my day may come to be measured in it's success by how many times I am having to spend in quelling the fire of his bitter criticism and here we have our lesson.
After a brief discussion with those accused, it was apparent to me that had the man come humble and prepared to request Justice, it would have been well received and Justice would have been delivered in full favor of the accuser. Instead, this man came overwhelmed and out of self control, slinging accusations and making false assumptions that turned favor from him. His actions compelled those he accused to throw their hands up in self defense rather than throw their hands up in submission to his claim. Here is the meat of the lesson and that is, it's human nature to repel bitterness and likewise it's human nature to embrace humility. Had the man come, humble, appreciative, and accepting, his desire would have been satisfied and possibly even been quenched beyond his simple request.
Sadly enough, my experience is that even now, this man has not within him the ability to approach the situation with caution and instead, he will come out guns a blazing to his own folly.
I had heard growing up, it's always easier to catch a bee with honey than it is with vinegar......and, in the back of my mind, I always thought to myself, who would ever try to catch a bee with vinegar......I guess now I know.
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UPDATE:
After several conversations and maybe some enlightment, the man who had preceived injustice has now been fully satisfied however, not because of any humble intentions on his part but purely out of the selfless grace of the accused.
To be clear, this situation was a little different than most, in that the accuser had no authority, no power, no ability to change his circumstances so, it was well within the accused power, authority and ability to deny the accuser any remediation. Truth be told, if the matter was ever to have come to light, public sentiment would of have been in favor of the accused....at least that is my opinoin. None the less, out of simple grace comes satisfaction and out of grace, everyone leaves the table fully satisfied.
Sometimes, turning the other cheek is much more than a catchy turn of phrase however, a practice that some live by. Granted, not every circumstance has us with battered cheeks and yes, we should pick our battles wisely, I guess all said and done, wisdom prevailed and we are none the less for wear.